SOOOO Proud of the Guard

Sitting in a training conference yesterday I was listening to a BRILLIANT COL speak. He was talking of course about family readiness, which is one of my passions. He touched on multiple subjects, many that indirectly affect the families. But he kept going over one that touched my heart, things that cause marriages to fail and suicides to happen. Now we all know about all the free counseling out there for military and their spouses, but he's got something in the works about employment, or the lack of it when a Guardsmen/ Reservist comes home to unemployment. He is putting together a program, where at the Yellow Ribbon #5 events, they will have regional employers, who are military friendly, at these events. Ready to hire, people ready to do resume work with the soldiers, PUTTING PEOPLE TO WORK!!!!! I can not tell you how much of a relief this is to my weary heart right about now. Not just for the families I serve with my job, but for my family as well. See when "tech support" comes home, as of right now, he doesn't have a job, and that warrants concern on my part. Not for a lack of trying, this man will do whatever he needs to do to get a job and support his family, I know this and have no doubt about it. But it's nice to know that the leadership is truly taking an interest in this arena. THEY WANNA HELP!! The COL that I mentioned (Have I mentioned he's brilliant?!?!?) has already been working with the forward and has a list of soldiers that are coming home to unemployment, and they are working on getting them a job. HOW FABULOUS is that?!?! I am not sure I can truly express how wonderful and amazing I think this new program is. 

Anticipating RNR & feeling selfish

SO, TechSupport will be home for RNR in a month or two and now starts the process of figuring out how to live with him while he's home, and then how to deal with him leaving again so quickly. Probably right after we've begun to get back into some kind of rhythm. Last time he was home for more than 6 days, I was unemployed. I couldn't wait for him to come home so we could talk and I had dinner ready, at 5:30. Pretty much every day. I'd wake up with him at 0:dark:30 to make have coffee & breakfast together. Somedays, I'd run up to base to have lunch with him. NOW, I'm in school (TY MYCAA) I have a job (that requires me to work weekends sometimes), I have WAY more friends than before. Not a lot, but I've got a few great ones. Now, I'm busy. I want want want to spend time with my husband, but the terrible thing is... I don't have it right now. I will be taking a break when he comes home on RNR from school and I'm talking time off work... but then what do we do? Well I forgot to throw in to the mix the house we are buying. And that's great, but I'm worried about the every day stuff. You're going to put the towel where? The cups don't go there, or that's not where we put the spar toilet paper. The little things. Tech Support and I, we've got the big stuff, I mean, I know that there will be some stuff with reintegration, but we talk about the heavy stuff. The "REALLY" important stuff, we talk about that. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried that when he puts those boots where I'm going to trip over them, or he puts the dishtowel in a place I can't find, or god forbid, I have to be accountable to someone else again, that is what I'm worried about. OH, I can't just "run off" to Target at 8pm and not notify anyone in my house that I'm going. I'm worried about the in's and the out's of being married again, you know, the stuff no one tells you when you get married. The little stuff, the stuff that could make you nuts if you let it.

I feel as if I should not complain AT ALL as I read another blog last night that tore my heart out and broke me down. I feel so deeply for a fellow blogger and can not imagine what she is going through right now. I am complaining about my hubby not putting things in the proper place when he's home, and she recently brought her soldier home, not in ANY WAY any military family EVER imagines of having to. Please keep her and their 2 month old baby girl in your heart, your thoughts, and your prayers. Here is her blog spot.....

http://alittlepinkinaworldofcamo.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-will-always-be-marine-wife.html

A moment of silence for CPL Jonathan Daniel Porto,  a lifetime of respect!

"WE" are buying a house

Soooo, buying a house while your husband is deployed it, let's say, hmm, exhausting. He's so excited about all the "stuff" he wants to do, install a brand new, tankless water heater (the current one is 3 years old and works just fine - I understand that there are benefits to a tankless, and eventually want one, but, the one we have works), put solar panels on the roof ( which I am SURE the HOA will have something to say about), redecorate, paint, change stuff, plant stuff, do STUFF. Now, please do not get me wrong (and you don't get me wrong either "TS" - Cause the hubs reads my blog), I DO want to do all these things eventually. Right now, I am just focusing on getting into the house. We haven't closed yet, I need to pack our entire house, by myself, and arrange for movers (cause you KNOW I am not doing it by myself), not to mention hire someone to come in and scrub baseboards, steam clean all the flooring, and just do a general DEEP clean, all while going back to school full time, and doing my job as a Family Readiness Support Assistant on a brigade level. A job which can be particularly demanding on my time because A. I live so far from the Armory in which I am imbedded (the reason for the move originally) and B. I believe that every single family in my Brigade deserves attention. Every unit deserves a functioning, positive, productive Family Readiness Group, and every commander deserves to have his soldier's families taken care of. So while I fully intend on completing all of the afore mentioned things, I am SURE that there will be a breakdown somewhere. I am just hoping it's a mild one, and I don't tick off too many people while I'm going through it. So each and every time I hear "honey, so I was talking to some of the guys and they said... (insert something that we "need" to do, which the thought will make me tired) I wanna yell, "STOP the make me crazy train". Is that breakdown starting already? Anyone wanna come pack my house for me?

"Tech Support"

Let me explain why I've chosen to call my husband "Tech Support". I have used the initials of most of the other people that I will blog about, with the exception of "Bubba" who is "J's" son, and "Bubbas" which is my 15lb awesome male cat and "Princess" my "big boned" female cat. I firmly believe in Opsec and Persec and do not want to put myself or anyone else in any type of danger that this very insignificant blog could stir up, but none the less, I'd rather be safe than sorry.
So, back to "Tech Support", My husband is pretty gifted when it comes to computers, electronics, all things that have to do with surround sound, multiple zone "listening stations", video & audio equipment, and photography equipment. BUT way back last year, when "J" bought a new computer and the hubby and I "sold" her on an Apple Macbook (LOVE MINE), and she came from the wide world of the Windows platform, well, she needed a little/LOT of Tech Support. My Loving, wonderful, eager to spread the goodness of Apple and Mac products husband became just that, on call, will come over and show you how, Tech Support... hence the name. Love me some Geek!!

Verbal Vomit

I am not sure if anyone else experiences this, but "TechSupport" was moved from the night shift (which was WONDERFUL - because he was basically on my schedule here - we could talk all the time, skype pretty much when we wanted) to the day shift (Boo Hiss). Now we talk maybe once a day (which I know, I should not be complaining, some wives only hear from their soldiers once a week, if they are lucky, but hey, it's my blog, my rant) and sometimes, once every other day. So I found myself telling him the most insignificant and random things, as a very fast rate, for quite a while tonight. Then I realized that he was laughing at me, out loud. I asked him if I was overwhelming him with "info", and he said, no, he wanted to hear it. I couldn't help but think, WOW, I just threw up verbally on my husband, thousands of miles away, and he's happy about it. Strange right? Anyone else experience this?

When he said, "You're going to blog about this" and I said, "no I'm not" - I hate it when he is right!!

Value of a Battle Buddy

SO the past 30 hours have been difficult to say the least. I had an sort of "I'm overwhelmed" breakdown/ good cry yesterday. You know, the kind where you can't breath and feel sort of like a 10 yr old that fell off her bike... that kind.  I know it's juvenile, but with everything that I have decided to undertake, after it was said an done, it felt great. My eyes told another story today, and when I got to work "B" asked me if I had been crying again today. Which, I almost had, but didn't.

I haven't told you about "B" yet. "B" is one of my newly found battle buddies (her hubby isn't deployed, but she is an Army Wife living the Army Life so to speak). I met "B" on my first day of work, I walked in, there was this blonde with great shoes on, we chatted for a minute, and BAM, new (soon to be) great friend. Anyhow, she's therapeutic, makes me get down to the root of what's "wrong" with me at the various minute that I am complaining. Then she helps me work through it, in a healthy way. Now if I am in for a good old fashioned pity party, she'll let me indulge, but not for too long. Now my Friend "J", she'll let me indulge in my pity party for as long as I want. I met her through my volunteering with the FRG (husband's organic unit). She's quite a bit younger than I am, but has a wise soul. Her hubby is deployed OIF as well, my hubby wishes he was on "that" deployment, but he's not, his is different, and that's ok. As the pages continue to turn in the novel we call life, I know we are bound to come across another chapter called "Deployment", otherwise known as "Honey, you're going to have to take the garbage out yourself, and scoop cat poop as well", and he'll get his chance to do "that".

ANYWAY.... Both are amazing woman, AND both have my back. The hardest thing about this deployment is that I am so far away from everything. My family is back in AZ, I have like 3.5 friends here, All my "old" friends, well most don't understand what I am going through (although they try - but somehow your hubby going away for a two week business trip or living in another state doesn't make you sympathetic, it's makes me want to yell - BUT IS HE GETTING SHOT AT WHILE IN MIAMI ON HIS BUSINESS TRIP?!? - But I don't, because that is not conducive to a healthy post-deployment friendship). I digress..... Well, I guess the point of this is that I am dearly thankful for these two women in my life, I am not sure they know it, but when I am "ALL DONE" they hold me up, when I cry, they wipe away the tears, when I'm angry, one holds me down & calms me, the other, well, it's a tie, sometimes she calms me, sometimes she's right there poking me with a sharp stick to see what I'll do next. Either way, COULD NOT be doing this without these ladies!

Moral of the story is.... go find yourself a battle buddy, someone you can connect with, we know "us Army Wives" make friends in like 3 seconds with the "right" person. Nevertheless, it's a great thing, and hey, who else is going to understand the time difference, the bad communication, the need to not fight, but yet wanting to, the deep loneliness you feel when you are surrounded by people, the fear, and the simple joy of a hand written letter or seeing your service member on the computer screen. Nothing like Husband in a Box.

Country Songs

So, as I am sitting here, trying to figure out how to make this Blog thing work properly, I am listening to music. WHY is it that every country song is about a soldier these days? Not that it's a bad thing, some of the songs are wonderful and uplifting.... doesn't mean they don't make you cry. And the Nickleback song... I'm about over it.

Very First Blog

Today I decided that I officially needed to blog. Maybe it was because I did enough to completely overwhelm myself, stuff my husband should have been here for. Maybe it's because I have found myself randomly crying in the car recently. Maybe it's because I am in a new city, with 2 friends, that I have known for 2 minutes, but yet they know more about what is going on in my life than people I have known for 25+ years. Maybe it's because I need an outlet. Whatever the reason it is, I think it will be highly therapeutic for me. I can only hope that people (IF anyone reads this), will find some humor in my frustration and some frustration in my humor. I can't guarantee that it will make sense all the time, but I can guarantee that it will be honest. Right now, in the midst of a deployment, buying a house and moving by myself again, going back to school, working a full time job for the National Guard, I can only try like hell to keep my sanity. Anyone have any advice?