SO, TechSupport will be home for RNR in a month or two and now starts the process of figuring out how to live with him while he's home, and then how to deal with him leaving again so quickly. Probably right after we've begun to get back into some kind of rhythm. Last time he was home for more than 6 days, I was unemployed. I couldn't wait for him to come home so we could talk and I had dinner ready, at 5:30. Pretty much every day. I'd wake up with him at 0:dark:30 to make have coffee & breakfast together. Somedays, I'd run up to base to have lunch with him. NOW, I'm in school (TY MYCAA) I have a job (that requires me to work weekends sometimes), I have WAY more friends than before. Not a lot, but I've got a few great ones. Now, I'm busy. I want want want to spend time with my husband, but the terrible thing is... I don't have it right now. I will be taking a break when he comes home on RNR from school and I'm talking time off work... but then what do we do? Well I forgot to throw in to the mix the house we are buying. And that's great, but I'm worried about the every day stuff. You're going to put the towel where? The cups don't go there, or that's not where we put the spar toilet paper. The little things. Tech Support and I, we've got the big stuff, I mean, I know that there will be some stuff with reintegration, but we talk about the heavy stuff. The "REALLY" important stuff, we talk about that. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried that when he puts those boots where I'm going to trip over them, or he puts the dishtowel in a place I can't find, or god forbid, I have to be accountable to someone else again, that is what I'm worried about. OH, I can't just "run off" to Target at 8pm and not notify anyone in my house that I'm going. I'm worried about the in's and the out's of being married again, you know, the stuff no one tells you when you get married. The little stuff, the stuff that could make you nuts if you let it.
I feel as if I should not complain AT ALL as I read another blog last night that tore my heart out and broke me down. I feel so deeply for a fellow blogger and can not imagine what she is going through right now. I am complaining about my hubby not putting things in the proper place when he's home, and she recently brought her soldier home, not in ANY WAY any military family EVER imagines of having to. Please keep her and their 2 month old baby girl in your heart, your thoughts, and your prayers. Here is her blog spot.....
http://alittlepinkinaworldofcamo.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-will-always-be-marine-wife.html
A moment of silence for CPL Jonathan Daniel Porto, a lifetime of respect!
4 comments:
wow i know what you mean. especially about the whole accountability thing. i'm so use to just walking out the door whenever... i'm sure i will forget my husband one day while he is home on RNR (like the girl said in the training this weekend). plus the whole tripping over the boots thing (even though my house is a wreck right now).
but it is amazing how one thing can put everything into perspective. i read the blog and broke down crying. that is so heartbreaking! God bless her and that cute little girl.
I have so been there. When my husband was home on leave, he got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I was so used to sleeping alone, that when he came back into the bedroom I thought he was an intruder and told him to get the f out of my house.
It was great being together, but a hard two weeks because I knew he would have to leave again.
My first R&R was strange--great to get to hold him and that he was 3D and HERE, but also hard because I knew it was just a few short days.
I like the blog--helps having others out there that understand this crazy life! Thanks for your posts!
I read your blog and think "I'm not the only one!" I've been with Sapper (my better half) for 13 years, and I do trip over his boots (never mind that I'm a retired soldier too)and when he doesn't put the scissors or the dust pan back, or close his dresser drawers, I get aggravated... I've always been fatally independent, so sharing the reins when he comes home is challenging. But, when he's gone, I find myself putting his boots where I can trip on them, because what would I do if he never came home to put them on again?
The big stuff is the easy stuff It's the small stuff people lose sleep over. The small stuff is what we don't always resolve (either together or internally-who loses sleep over a dirty glass in the bathroom?) and it builds up internally.
I am in a Masters program, and had switched jobs last Oct after my Sapper came home from Iraq, to a job working 50-60 hrs plus per week. I quit in Feb. I was so distressed, and part of that distress is that you are spread out in different directions: your family needs you, your hubby needs you, school, other things you're involved in that are for you, etc). Something has to give. I've never not had my own "mad money" but I'll take my chances if it will help me finish school, love my kids and my Sapper, and maximize the time we have until he leaves for Afghanistan.
Thanks for helping me put things in perspective!
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